


Burn

by BSBLover2538



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Arguing, Baby Names, Bar, Cheating, Child Abandonment, F/M, Hangover, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Letters, Morning After, Pregnancy, Regret, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28956054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSBLover2538/pseuds/BSBLover2538
Summary: In one night, Howie's world went up in flames, one decision upending his life in the best and worst way possible, even if he wouldn't see the results for nine months.
Relationships: Howie Dorough/Leigh Dorough, Howie Dorough/Original Female Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Burn

“Ungh” a voice groaned softly as an eye was pried open. The sunlight was streaming directly into the hotel room, illuminating it in a warm glow. The owner of the voice groaned again, rubbing her eyes gently before widening them in fear and disbelief. Jillian gasped softly as the events of the previous night came slamming back to her, even in her hungover state. She was the one facing the window of the hotel room, and she silently prayed that she was alone in the room, and that she didn’t have her one night stand still asleep next to her. 

“What happened?” a voice behind her sleepily asked, and Jillian cursed softly. 

“Not sure” she muttered as she slid out of the bed, pulling her shirt up from the floor, holding her head as she stood back up, slightly staggering to the bathroom. 

“Leave before I get back out here” she called over her shoulder, not even turning to look at who the male in the bed was. She couldn’t remember his face, and didn’t want to give any indication that she was going to see him again.

Twenty minutes later, Jillian was feeling halfway human after a throwing up session and a long hot shower. Coming back out into the main room, she was pleased to see she was alone. Casting her eyes around the room, they fell on a piece of paper at the desk in the corner of the room. Jillian walked over, and her eyes bugged out as she read what the paper contained. 

“Had fun last night. Thanks for the fuck, needed it after being away from the missus for so long. Howie D” 

“Fuck! Shit! Damnit!” Jillian let loose a string of increasingly inventive swear words as her brain processed the note. 

“He’s fucking married. Why do you do this to yourself Jill?” the young woman sighed softly, before her eyes widened in a panic. 

“There better be a condom wrapper here somewhere” 

Jillian tore the room apart, but didn’t find evidence that a condom had been used. Sitting heavily down on the bed, Jillian put her head in her hands, wondering where it had all gone wrong. She was usually super vigilant about using condoms with her late night bar hookups. It wasn’t something she often did, but it had been a rough week at work, and all Jillian wanted on Friday night was someone to fuck her, enabling her to let go of the stress from the week. 

“What the hell am I going to do now?” Jillian softly questioned herself, as she trudged out of the room, and down to the lobby to settle the bill. 

“It was paid for by the gentleman you were with, a Mr. Dorough. Thank you though” the woman behind the desk replied after Jillian asked for the bill. 

“Thanks” Jillian nodded absentmindedly, pulling her coat higher up, and leaving the hotel. It was one she usually frequented for her overnight sexual needs, since it was right near her preferred bar. 

Finding her car in the bar’s parking lot, Jillian headed back home, trying to shake the whole night from her memory. She knew she would probably never see that man again, and that suited her just fine, she wasn’t known to fuck the same man twice. 

Jillian moved on with her life, putting the night in the back of her head. She continued to work at her job in sales during the days, spending the nights relaxing in front of the tv with her cat Snickers. Flipping through the channels one night, she stopped on a voice show she loved to watch. Settling down, she watched it interestedly, before her whole world went sideways. 

“Fucking hell…that one night stand was with Howie Dorough of the Backstreet Boys…..damn Jill, you really know how to pick them” the young woman muttered as the Boys came on to sing their newest single, since it was the results show. 

She was aware of BSB, but had never paid too much attention to them. She knew a few of their songs, but wasn’t that much of a fan. It was mostly songs that the bars liked to play, and sometimes people at the karaoke nights she went to would do their songs, since they were usually a crowd pleaser. 

“Why am I freaking out? It was just a fuck and run, not like it meant anything. Does make me wonder if all five cheat on their wives tho, since Howie was obviously so willing to” Jillian mused, shaking her head a few seconds later. She shook it off once again, but something niggled in the back of her mind, that it wouldn’t be the last time she saw Howie. 

A few days later, Jillian’s boobs started getting sore, and she noticed she missed her period. It usually came every 30-31 days, and it was now 2 days late. Trying not to panic, Jillian reasoned that it was just from stress, and it was just late. She also started feeling more tired than usual, and her vaginal discharge started changing a bit. Spotting and cramps were normal for her, so when she saw them, she assumed her period would finally be coming. 

“Come on you little fucker, come and go so I can get out of this panicking hell” Jillian looked down at her body, pleading for her period to start. 

The next morning, all her panicking came to a head. Waking up and running to the bathroom, Jillian puked for a good 30 seconds. She sat back, thought for a moment, and cursed up, down, and sideways. 

“Goddamnit. I need a fucking pregnancy test” she muttered, before puking again. A few minutes later, she cleaned herself up, and stood up, holding her stomach. 

“First is to call out of work, second is to go to the drugstore and get that test” Jilian grabbed her phone, and called her boss at the office. Explaining the situation, her boss was more than willing to excuse Jillian for the day, asking to be apprised of the results of the test. Jillian was close with her boss, and she was horrible at keeping secrets, so she knew she’d be telling her within five minutes of finding out. 

“This better be negative” Jillian looked at the test an hour later, having peed on it, and waiting for the results. She had gotten some looks from the other shoppers and the cashier at the drugstore, but she didn’t care. 

Two minutes later, Jillian swore loudly. The plus sign was staring up at her, she was pregnant. She didn’t want to be pregnant, didn’t want this man’s baby in her uterus. Jillian never wanted children, never felt she was maternal in the least. 

“I’m pregnant” she spoke into her phone two minutes later, frantically calling her boss. 

Sara sighed softly talking to her best employee. “What are you going to do?” 

“I am giving it to the father. I can’t handle dealing with a child. I don’t want kids, never have. I know who the father is, and I’ll track down his address and give him the baby when the time comes” Jillian already knew she wasn’t keeping the child. 

“Alright. I figured you would do something like that. I’ll support you during the pregnancy, and you’ll get as much time as you need to recover from the birth. I’ll see you on Monday” Sara replied, and the two quickly hung up. Jillian sat on her bed, hoping the next 9 months went quickly. 

Over the course of the next nine months, Jillian did everything she was required to do to keep herself and the baby in her belly healthy. Just because she didn’t want the baby, didn’t mean she was going to do anything to harm the baby inside her. She went to all the appointments, and the baby was healthy as an ox. 

“Get this thing out of me!” she screamed as she labored on a cold winter night. It was mid January, and she was already a week late. Of course she was, she thought. She had tracked down Howie’s address, and as soon as she was released with the baby, Jillian was going to drop the baby off. She had found a hospital nearby Howie’s home, so that she didn’t have to travel far. 

An hour later, Jillian gave birth to a little girl, and she knew she had to name her before she could leave the hospital. Deciding on Faith Aurora, she named Howie as the father, and got the copy of the birth certificate. The baby looked exactly like her father, which made it even easier for Jillian to do what she planned. 

“I know your father will love you little girl. I just hope your new mother will as well. I wrote in the letter letting her know she can adopt you without issue from me. I’m just not ready to be a mother, you need someone who will give you what you need, and that’s not me little girl” Jillian spoke to the baby, packing the two of them up. Jillian went to the bus stop with the baby in her arms, armed with the bag of goodies from the hospital. She intended to leave everything with Howie and walk away. 

“Goodbye little one, I hope your mom and dad love you” Jillian set the bundle of blankets on the front porch of the home she knew to be Howie’s fifteen minutes later. Keeping her head down and her hood up, knowing there were probably cameras, she quickly got the baby settled. Making sure the baby was warm, she put the bag of goodies next to it, and rang the doorbell. 

Sprinting away, she only looked back once, knowing she was doing the right thing for herself and the baby. Taking a quick peek as she heard the door open, she saw a woman gasp and pick the baby up. Jillian knew the girl was safe, and started running faster, heading back to the bus stop nearby. 

“Good luck little one” was the last thing Jillian said before she got back on a bus, heading back to the life she had waiting for her three hours away. 

Meanwhile, Leigh Dorough was cradling a baby that looked exactly like her husband in her arms. There was a bag of baby supplies next to the bundle of blankets, and Leigh had pulled that in as well. Closing the door, she shushed and rocked the baby in her arms, hearing her husband walking into the foyer. 

“Who was at the door….What’s that?” Howie asked, his eyes wide seeing the baby in his wife’s arms. 

“You tell me…” Leigh looked up at her husband with a cold look in her eyes. 

“I swear, I have no idea about any babies” Howie held his hands up in defense, and Leigh looked down at the baby again. 

“Then why does this one look like you? And it seemed to be specifically left here. There seems to be an envelope, which may contain a letter as to the whereabouts of this baby. Want me to open it and confirm?” Leigh icily asked, Howie near swallowing his tongue. 

“Maybe something happened early last year?” Howie guessed, and Leigh wanted to scream. 

“Howard Dwaine Dorough! I am not asking again! Could this be your child?!” Leigh still had the baby in her arms, keeping her grip firm but gentle around the baby. She knew that the little one was innocent in all of this, and she wasn’t upset at the child. 

Howie seemed to fold in on himself. “Yes, the child very well could be mine” 

“Get out of my sight. Get online, order baby supplies. I do not want to look at you right now” Leigh hissed out, and Howie fled the room. 

Leigh sighed softly, and grabbed the baby bag, walking towards the living room. Sitting on the couch, she set the bag on the floor in front of her. Pulling out all of the stuff that hospitals always give to new mothers, her hand reached the yellow business envelope she had seen when she first glanced at the bag. Pulling it out, she got it open one handed, and pulled out the papers within. 

“Birth certificate, naming Howie as the father. You’re a girl, and your mother named you Faith Aurora” Leigh muttered as she scanned the first page. The name wasn’t to her taste, but it could suit the baby. She rifled through the pages before coming to some handwritten pages. Pulling them out, her eyes widened. 

“To Howie and his wife, I am giving you mine and Howie’s child. I am not prepared to be a mother, nor do I want children. I would much prefer to have the child be raised by you two. She deserves a mom and dad who will love her. I am sorry Mrs. Dorough, I had no idea Howie was married when we had sex. It was a one night stand, and I was careless, forgetting to ask if your husband had condoms. I did not know he was married, he never told me until the next morning when he left me a note. Please care for the baby, I will be long gone by the time you see this. You can change her name, I only came up with it to fill out the birth certificate. Have a nice life with your daughter, and yes, she is yours. I hope you can love and take her in as your own. ” 

Leigh looked down at the baby girl in her arms. Yes, she was extremely angry with her husband, but she didn’t want to send the baby somewhere else. Maybe she could take her in as her own, raise the girl with Howie? The dark haired woman sighed softly as her brain tried to figure out everything that had just happened. Her main issue was how many times had Howie cheated on her, and could she trust him again? 

Settling the papers down, she looked down at the baby. All she could see in the baby’s face was her husband. The baby had blue eyes, but Leigh could bet they would be brown before she hit six months. Maybe changing her name would help? Leigh groaned softly as she stood up, bouncing the baby slightly. 

“Howie, where are you?” she called. She really didn’t want to talk to her husband, but they needed to figure out what to do with the baby. 

“In the study” he called back, and Leigh shifted the baby to her shoulder as she walked towards the familiar room. She grabbed the letter from the other woman before she left the living room. 

“What have you ordered so far?” Leigh looked at her husband, who turned in his desk chair, looking her in the eyes. Leigh could see an apology in them, but she wasn’t focused on that right now. 

“A crib, changing table, dresser, high chair, the basics” Howie replied. 

“Good. You have a daughter. Right now her name is Faith Aurora, but her birth mother said we could change it. I will go order her clothes, bedding, and other things. You can take care of her right now. Once I am done, you will go to the store and get bottles, formula, and other things we need now. I will not be long. Here, read this. We will be having the first of many discussions tonight” Leigh handed the baby to her husband, along with the letter. Howie took both, setting the letter aside for now, and focused on the baby. Leigh left for her own office, going to order the clothes and linen items the baby would need, knowing that Howie would be out of his depth. 

Howie looked down at his daughter for the first time. The baby fussed a bit, opening her eyes, squinting in the light. Howie was looking at the product of his infidelity. He knew he had truly fucked up, there was the small grace that it was the only time he had ever cheated on Leigh. 

“Hi baby girl” he softly spoke to the baby, who looked back at him. Getting the baby comfortable in the crook of his arm, Howie grabbed the letter, and started reading. He barely remembered that night, and did not remember the face or name of the woman he had had sex with. 

“I think Mom wants to rename you. I wonder what we will come up with baby girl” Howie set the letter down, and looked back at the baby. 

“Despite all of this, I am happy that your birth mother tracked me down, and left you with me, so that you grew up with love and care” Howie murmured softly, pulling the blankets tighter around the baby. He sat back in the chair, holding his daughter close. Howie started pondering names for the baby, and one kept coming back to him. He had to talk to Leigh, but Caroline seemed to be the biggest contender for him. 

“I ordered all the clothing and things. Give me the baby, and get out of here” Leigh came back twenty minutes later, and Howie nodded, handing the baby to her. 

“I’d like to rename her Caroline, if you agree” Howie hesitantly spoke, looking at his wife. 

Leigh bit her lip, and thought for a moment. She could get used to Caroline, and she loved that Howie was honoring his sister. Leigh looked at her husband. 

“Caroline Anne Dorough, that sounds nice. I think that is our daughter’s name” Leigh replied. 

“Our daughter? You aren’t leaving me?” Howie held a hopeful tone to his question. 

“No I am not, but my trust in you is broken. We will talk more tonight” Leigh waved Howie away, and her husband nodded, going to his car and going off to the store. 

A couple hours later, Caroline was in a pack and play, and had been fed and diapered. It had been a bit of a challenge for Howie and Leigh, but they soon got the hang of taking care of a newborn. Caroline seemed to be a quiet baby, she hadn’t cried much, but Leigh thought that was just because she was only 3 days old. 

“She’s asleep, for at least the next hour, grab the monitor and let's head to our room and talk” Leigh looked at Howie who nodded in agreement. 

The two settled down on the couch in the sitting room attached to their bedroom. Leigh pulled her legs up and laid one hand on the back of the couch, the other laying on her thigh. Howie faced her, one leg on the couch, knee bent, the other stretched out in front of him, foot on the floor. 

“Why? Why cheat on me?” Leigh simply asked. 

“I was feeling alone, and it had been so long since I’d seen you, and knew it would be so much longer. All I wanted that night was to go to a bar, enjoy myself. The others did their own thing, and I found the bar. I shot back a few drinks, and this girl came up. We got to talking, and next thing I knew I was following her to her hotel. We never exchanged names, I had no idea who she was. The next morning, I woke up next to her, left her the note, and left. I realized what I had done, and I felt guilty. She didn’t want to know who I was, it seemed like she had done this before” Howie started. 

“Don’t, don’t pin this on the other girl. You are the one who chose to drink, you are the one who followed her. Don’t even try that” Leigh interrupted. Howie had the grace to look ashamed. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry Leigh” Howie apologized. 

Leigh nodded. “My trust in you is broken. You are supposed to go on tour again in three months. How am I supposed to trust that you won’t do this again? Especially since I’ll be here raising a child that technically isn’t biologically mine. It is going to come out that you have a child with another woman, especially if she looks like her biological mother. What are you going to do then? I will not hide from the public eye, and I won’t let you hide Caroline. I will be her mother, and she will call me mom, but you have to own up to the fact that you cheated on me. I will never ever make Caroline feel inferior to any children that the two of us may have. But she will also deserve to know that her biological mother made the selfless decision that she did” 

Howie put his head in his hands and dragged his head through his fingers as he looked back up at his wife. He knew that it would come to light that he had cheated, and he shuddered to think about what that would do to his career. 

“I am going to take everything as it comes. It won’t affect the group, but it may affect how fans look at me, and I deserve it. I need to at least make the Boys aware of what’s going on, so that it isn’t a shock when the two of us turn up with Caroline. I think for now, Caroline should just think of you as her mother, and when it comes up in the future, we talk to her, tell her about what happened. Thank you Leigh, I really don’t deserve how kind you are being” Howie admitted to his wife. 

“Well you are on the couch for at least a month, so I’m not oozing kindness right now. You hurt me, you hurt our relationship Howard. I want marriage counseling. We need to repair our relationship. And I will be laying down rules once you go back on tour, this cannot and will not happen again, or I will walk away, and divorce you” Leigh looked seriously at Howie, laying down her terms. 

“I agree with everything, including the counseling. I know I harmed you and our marriage. I swear that that time was the first and last time I will ever cheat on you. I know many men say that, but I am willing to do whatever you want me to do so I can prove it to you” Howie looked earnestly at Leigh. 

“Let’s just take this day by day for now. We need to talk to our lawyers, get Caroline’s birth certificate changed, and get me named as her mother. I’ll adopt her, since I doubt we will find her biological mother. This will be a long process, but we will get through it. I know we were talking kids, but I now want to wait at least a year, most likely two. We need to care for Caroline, and fix our relationship before we add any more kids” Leigh stated. 

“I figured. Can we just snuggle together, and relax before Caroline wakes up again?” Howie hesitantly asked, and Leigh turned her body, laying against Howie’s chest, stretching her legs out. Howie wrapped his arm around his wife, thanking his lucky stars that she was staying with him, despite what he had put her through. He knew he would be on the couch for a while, but he would take the small intimacy he was getting now. Howie knew they would be talking more, and working together to raise Caroline. He was lucky to have the wife he did, who was willing to stay with him, despite his infidelity and that night resulting in a child. His arm tightened around Leigh, and he knew that the two of them would eventually be okay, and back to the whole relationship they had before he cheated. 


End file.
